Let Me Learn By Paradox...

Okay, I fell asleep trying to complete this post on Thursday night while packing for my trip to Atlanta.  While I was preparing, I had a little...I don't quite know where to start... 
There's something I felt like I had dealt with and a small situation came up to show me that I really haven't.  Instead of me being glad or even neutral about the person/situation, I was sort of frustrated by it.  Instead of my prime interest being this persons well being and seeing Christ glorified in their life, my mind was on me and my feelings. It's funny how many of the things we do are driven by our selfishness; even the things that appear to be innocent in our eyes. I find it so amazing how Christ saves us from a heart that is convinced that our sins weren't that bad, and all of a sudden he opens our eyes, and we are forever branded in our hearts and shown in the most basic happenings of our lives how unworthy we are (and how AMAZING God's grace is). 

In a land that is so driven by self esteem; where bookstores are stocked full of shelves of books teaching us to take pride in ourselves, God offers in his word the total antithesis. He tells us to die to self is great gain, that we are lifted through humility rather than when we pridefully esteem ourselves, and that he who forsakes everything for Christ and the sake of the Gospel gains.  My selfishness, sinful self pity, and pride become so large in light of the example of Christ in Philippians 3:3-11 and that is the exact means God has prescribed to constantly remind me of my dire need of his Son and the mercy and grace offered through him.  So instead of being frustrated when I see how short I fall, even in my failures I find gladness knowing that I am excepted due to Christs sacrificial death on the cross.  Instead of being frustrated when my sin becomes evident to me, I find gladness knowing that the ability to be convicted about these things and repent is something I could never do if not for what was accomplished on the cross. So my joy is no longer performance driven, it is in the finished work of Christ on the cross. 

My prayer is that failures and shortcomings like this one help to shape the way I treat people.  I realize that I am entitled to absolutely nothing but judgement if not for the cross, so bearing with the failures of others and with annoying people..... giving my time, strength and energy to express the worth of Christ to others..... if God has given me the greatest gift that could ever be offered even though I am not even entitled to the strength in my fingers to type this post, what is it that he could ask of me that should be withheld?  Man....I am in CONSTANT need of His grace....and I'm so glad that his grace is constantly with me.

This puritan prayer is such an encouragement right now. It helps to be reminded that even our failures are our servants when we are with the Lord, to purify us and draw us to Christ.

"Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.


Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.


Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;


Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley."


taken from
The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.