The balance of weight and joy

As I'm getting my application ready to get into Reformed Theological Seminary, I've been thinking of the implications this whole process will have on my life. I had a conversation recently that was very encouraging, but also put the reality of what I'm about to embark on right in front of my face. You see, I have this heavy burden on my heart to preach the gospel biblically and to see others live a life where they are overwhelmed by who God is; to see people give their lives away for the sake of Christ and his gospel. At the same time, I know that I recently purchased a house and I have a lot of other bills that need to be paid. I know that to leave a pretty good IT job and forfeit a stable life for a life that doesn't have the safety that we all long for is flat out not a wise thing to do....depending on where you get your wisdom from...But honestly, what is it that really matters in this life? When I look at the landscape of Christianity in America, the thought that comes to mind is this....is this what Christ died for? Is this really it? Is dying to self for the sake of something immeasurably greater than self a command reserved for a select group of Christians who have been "called" to it? Is the goal really to be saved, get a good education, get a good job, get married, buy a nice house in a nice neighborhood, raise my kids to strive to be excellent, retire early, and enjoy the rest of my life traveling with my wife? Ok, now take out the "be saved" and what do you have left? The American Dream. And this is where things become difficult for me. Maybe the majority of the "successful" churches in America are right and I'm losing my mind....but this isn't what I see in the bible.

When I was studying 1 John 1:3-4 "that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete."....I realized that every day this is becoming my reality. My joy isn't made complete in the comfort and safety the Christian version of the American Dream offers, it's made complete in my identification with Christs suffering; my joy is made complete when I'm doing what he commands by proclaiming the truth, creating disciples and bringing them into fellowship with Christ. My joy is found in inaudibly proclaiming Christ though living sacrificially and forsaking the individualism of our culture in order to love and care for people inside and outside of the church who I'm sure will disappoint and hurt me. When I open the bible and read it, I see something totally different from what I see when I open the typical churches doors and speak to the people who go to church. And to state it frankly, I don't want to be like them. I don't want my family to be like them. I don't want for my children what they want for theirs. I don't want a Christ that is just an accessory on my self-made, self-satisfying life. I don't want to be comfortable living a life that looks nothing like what I read in the bible and be comfortable there because everyone else who goes to this place every week is living just like me. I don't want to simply be moral. I don't want to offer people a salvation that makes them look like me: safe, secure, and selfish. I refuse to live out a cross-less salvation.

This is not a burden to become a radical christian....it's a burden to live like a normal Christian; the Christianity that I see in the bible. I feel like I'm sort of rambling in this post, but what I desire to say is this: our Christianity cannot be simply a easy, safe, and joyous life that strives for security and avoids suffering as much as possible. There must be a realization of the weighty reality of what the bible actually says and God actually commands. We must live, think, and act with a balance of joy and weight. Our reality seems to be so shaped by the world and so far from God. I listened to a message by Frances Chan where he made a painful observation. If a person was to get rid of their retirement plan in order to have enough money to send to a country where people are starving to death, what would we say? That isn't wise, right? What about having money for emergencies? LISTEN TO OURSELVES!!! Isn't people dying of starvation an emergency?!? Or is it only an emergency if it pertains to us? If you end up growing old and dying of starvation, what would Christ say to you when you face him? "You had money and gave it all away to care for others at the risk of losing everything yourself in faith that I would care for all of your needs?....THAT WAS STUPID!" There is not one thing unwise about risking everything for the sake of the Christ you claim you "trusted" for your salvation.


I say this with my heart broken people....there is too much at stake. The gospel has been prostituted and as a result, what most so called Christians look like looks nothing like what is in the scripture. What most so called churches look like looks nothing like what is in the bible. If you saw a tree with apples on it and someone told you it was an orange tree, would you believe him? Now ask yourself this question concerning your Christianity and your church. Does the bible, and I mean the whole counsel of scripture and not singled out verses, agree with what we proclaim ourselves to be? There is no more serious matter in the world than this. Many people in the world have not heard the gospel and will die without knowing Christ. Over half of the world lives on $2 a day or less. People around the world are starving to death. There are places around the world where Christs name has not been proclaimed....What does this mean to you? We must ask ourselves these real questions, face these realities and figure out how we will deal with them. Will we continue to call ourselves Christians and live lives that are clearly aimed at marginalizing the weighty things Christ takes seriously to sooth our consciences and running after the preaching and lifestyles that promote our desire for comfort and "blessings"?


"Christians should be grave and serious, though cheerful and pleasant. They should feel that they have great interests at stake, and that the world has too. They are redeemed—not to make sport; purchased with precious blood—for other purposes than to make men laugh. They are soon to be in heaven—and a man who has any impressive sense of that will habitually feel he has much else to do than to make men laugh. The true course of life is midway between moroseness and levity; sourness and lightness; harshness and jesting. Be benevolent, kind, cheerful, bland, courteous—but serious. Be solemn, thoughtful, deeply impressed with the presence of God and with eternal things—but pleasant affable and benignant. Think not a smile sinful; but think not levity and jesting harmless."


—Albert Barnes