The Fight for Joy: don't mistake the scent for the flower

“The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."
— C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)

This quote sounds kind of strange, but is a beautiful and accurate description of where I am right now. Words fail me as I try to type it out so I might ramble a bit, but here is my attempt…… There are times in my walk with Christ where I feel weak. The weakness in this case is not one that comes from walking strong and just getting tired. It's a weakness that catches up to you when the gradual sin of serving and living for self makes you forget about the mission. Once you realize where you are, there's a longing for intimacy with God that results in searching, but in my searching I begin to look for an experience. By experience I mean the feelings and things that were closely associated with the times where I felt the most strong.  The experiences points to things that are landmarks (or reminders of the destination) but not the actual destination, better yet, the actual Person I’m searching for. 

It’s like a child being told that she is going to be taken to Disney World. On the day of the trip, she stares at the brochure she pinned to her bedroom wall and refuses to go on the trip because she's mesmerized by the glossy images of the place she longs to go to.  A reminder of the goal in essence becomes the great barrier that separates the child from the goal.  The reminders are not bad just like the poster isn't bad. It can serve as a great deterrent from distraction.  But isn't it funny how we can be well meaning in our goals and practices, all the while what we do with good intentions becomes the construction of idols. The things that were meant to fuel us toward relentlessly perusing the Goal capture our hearts. We want joy in Christ, but joy itself becomes the goal and Christ simply becomes the person we employ to bring us joys rather than him being the joy we run after.  In essence, we mistake the scent of the flower for the flower. I love to read books. I love to be able to clearly communicate what I believe and to study to understand it more clearly. I love having God glorifying relationships and conversations that point my soul Godward and stir my affections toward Christ. These are all great, but they are not the goal. The goal is Christ himself. To know Him.

The whole notion of trusting him for our salvation and in our salvation is the most simple yet foreign concept to us as people who are fallen but have been saved by grace.  It’s so easy for lesser joys, both those that are designed to stir our hearts toward God and ones that make us forget about God, to become what we trust in for our strength. We allow the kindness that is fashioned by God to lead us to repentance to be what breeds contempt and lazyness in us. When I consider where my heart is at times, my confidence has no choice but to lean on the reality that Christ started the work in me and will finish it (this should be my FIRST choice, but too often it's my last resort). There is a world of hope in this reality if we understand the weight of it and much grief if we forget it and lean on our performance.  He is our goal. He can be trusted even in our discomfort and when our hearts are discontented and disoriented.  David cried out at times that he felt the agony of feeling far from God and that it felt like he was dying….. but the strange thing is, we read it in the scriptures which are God breathed; written by men carried along by the Spirit. God was involved (not at fault). I find contentment in knowing that God does all that he does to glorify himself and I can trust him when my affections for Him are weak and frail.  Life is a continuous fight to die to the flesh, trust and rely on the Holy Spirit, and fight to find our joy in Christ when everything in our lives tend to war against it.  My hope remains in the faithfulness of Christ and these three truths are a constant help to me:

• He is a good Father… so when things seem cloudy, our good and sovereign Father can be trusted.
• He does not withhold any good thing from those who walk upright…. so my confidence is in Christ's perfect sacrifice being credited to my by faith and not my performance. I can be assured that if living in ease was good, he wouldn’t withhold it from me. His choices are best.
• He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him…. I don’t have to search for lesser joys to satisfy me. The triviality and easy joy found in TV, games and entertainment often rob me of real satisfaction in Christ. These things may not be bad in and of themselves, but the question is, can I handle them? For the most part, the answer is no.  So I’ll flee them and trust His promise. If I seek Him, he promises to reward me with Himself and there is nothing more precious than that.

Trust His promises. He is faithful and He is good.